Our Official Mascot: Tommy the Muskox!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
The New Saint Thomas Institute is delighted to reveal its new mascot: Tommy the Muskox!
Taylor Marshall announced on Tuesday that their Members finally settled on a candidate from an ovibovine species aptly named “Tommy the Muskox.”
Tommy the Muskox sent in the attached video with his resume and application. Needless to say, the Members was amazed by his mind-numbing head powers:
“We really couldn’t be happier with Tommy the Muskox,” Dr. Marshall told reporters at the Institute on Tuesday afternoon. “Our Members were in gridlock between two candidates: Tommy the Muskox and a traditional Italian work-ox named Albert the Smart Ox.”
When asked why the Members chose the Tommy the Muskox, Dr. Marshall remarked, “Well, our school motto is Non alligabis os bovis, which is Latin for “Thou shalt not muzzle an ox.” It comes the Bible (1 Cor 9:9). It’s a reference to our patron Saint Thomas Aquinas, who was known as The Dumb Ox.”
The New Saint Thomas Institute also had concerns over the traditional meaning of the word “ox,” which is properly defined as: “A castrated bull over four years old. Typically domesticated to pull plows and tread grain.”
“Honestly, the idea of a castrated mascot just didn’t test well in our Member surveys,” Dr. Marshall explained. “Plus, my wife Joy saw a photo of the muskox and said, ‘Ahhh, he’s so adorable.’ Best of all, muskoxen like Tommy are not castrated.”
Ahhhh. Baby Muskox. Now that’s super adorable.
So Who is This Tommy the Muskox?
Tommy the Muskox hails from Greenland, but he grew up in Canada. The New Saint Thomas Institute believes that Tommy the Muskox’s background communicates the international scope of their student body.
“I grew up on a Catholic ranch,” Tommy the Muskox explained, “but I cannot honestly claim to be a trained Thomist.”
“Fortunately, my contract included a lifetime membership to the New Saint Thomas Institute. I’m looking forward to learning more from all the great video courses and resources offered to the Members of the New Saint Thomas Institute.”
Tommy the Muskox continues: “I’ll also be making guest appearances inside the Institute’s Membership site from time to time to lighten things up. If a Member gets out of line, I’ll ram him with my head. See video above for details.”
“It was important for our NSTI to have a strong mascot,” said Dr. Marshall. “Tommy has settled in and he’s getting along great with the staff. Just between us, Tommy definitely smells musky. Our office aroma has taken a hit. However, Joy went to Costco and purchased a case of Febreze. Hopefully that will help.”
Tommy the Muskox is settling in to his new office – though he smells a little musky!
Tommy the Muskox is also preparing to learn more about online video technology: “Streaming HD video courses to hundreds of people at one time can get tricky.”
In the meantime, “Let’s go Mighty Mighty Muskoxen!!!”
PS: Get yourself a New Saint Thomas “Tommy the Muskox” T-Shirt by clicking here! You can even pick your own color!
PPS: This was just a spoof post. But seriously, Tommy the Muskox will be our adorable mascot for the NSTI, and we are the Mighty Mighty Muskoxen. Now we just need to form a virtual football team and a chess club!
